My Ruin

Terror...this is what you call me...
I strike terror among men
I can't be bothered by what they think
I bare my cross, my soul, myself
I forgive, but I never forget
I've been put upon this earth in FEMALE form
But I can handle myself with the best of you,
as well as the worst and I often have
I have the right to remain silent,
but I choose to speak, sing, scream
I am LIPS,HIPS,TITS
I AM THE POWER OF A WOMAN, STRONG like music,
true like friendship
But without my friends there would be no music,
only spoken word
Fucker!
I am able to change so I live without regret,
without remorse, only a remix
I'm drunk, I'm sober,
heaven doesn't want me and hell's afraid I'll take over
Don't bother trying to censor me, or shut me up
because it won't work
I am cold and distant, yet warm
and close to those who deserve to see that side of me,
part of me, the heart of me
You find me so hard to understand in your world,
the world you perceive to be so normal,
I am deformed, scorned, reborn
I am me and I know exactly who I am, what I am,
and the wrath I bring
The ugly beauty, the lying truth, the virgin whore,
the quiet storm, a lover, a fighter, a saint,
a sinner, a sister, a daughter, old school, a beginner
I have decorated myself with love, hate, truth, you,
all of you, both of you, none of you, more than one of you
Fucker!
With lips like sugar, eyes like meat,
I've watched men come, and go, and cheat
I sleep to dream and dream of sleep
I had a dream, Joe, that you were standing in the middle
of an open road I had a dream, Joe, that your hands
were raised up to the sky and your mouth was covered in foam
I've been crucified, justified and mortified by my behavior,
both feminine and masculine
I'm a contradiction, a juxtaposition
My relief is my release and only time will tell:
all is well that ends well
I am unsweetened, unclean, been called drama queen,
ex-girlfriend, ex-member, the tantrum, the temper
I point my finger, take the blame, and this time
I will own the name because no one is going to ruin me,
if I have to:
I WILL RUIN MYSELF
and it will be my ruin
My ruin
Fucker!